Post by Tammy on Aug 21, 2006 23:22:00 GMT -5
When I was pregnant with my Regina, I already had 2 boys. I loved my boys dearly, but all I wanted was a girl. This was back in the days before anyone knew what they were getting. I wanted a girl. That was all that mattered.
I remember sitting on the couch one time, about 9 months prego, watching a movie. A prego lady was asked if she wanted a boy or a girl. She replied with the standard answer of the time - "Doesn't matter as long as it's healthy".
Since I was by myself at that moment, I thought about my answer of always saying "A girl". And I decided that of course I wanted her healthy - but if God himself stood before me right now and said he had 2 souls, A healthy little boy, or a beautiful little girl, but she has some problems - I would take the girl.
So of course, as we all know, I got my girl. To this day I honestly believe that if she was a boy, she'd be perfectly "normal". But after years of thinking about this, I don't believe I caused it. I may be to blame for choosing her, but not for causing her problems. I truly believe that there are all these little souls waiting up there, some are picked randomly, but some are special and are just waiting for just the right Mom to choose them and give them the love they need. They need special mommies and have to wait until their special mommy is hand-picked just for them.
In my case - it's the right choice. No one could ever possibly love her or take better care of her than I do. I can't even imagine if she would have been given to someone else.
I really feel the same for all the other kids on here. They are right now exactly the same way as they were the day God gave them to their mothers. None of the "Blames" had anything to do with it.
Maybe none of you consciously chose your child as I feel I did, But you were all hand chosen just for your precious little soul. No one would take better care of them than you. Not even the Drs, nurses, or any care giver. Can you think of a single person who God could have trusted with your child over you? Does anyone understand them better than you? I'm sure not.
So Mothers, you are to be blamed for only one thing. Being the person that God felt he could trust enough to take care of one of his special little souls he had just waiting to be loved.
There is an old movie out there called "Kids Like These". I still see it showing up on e-bay sometimes on VHS. After having Regina and all her "specialties" (she is also handicapped) this has become my favorite movie. It stars Tyne Daly. In the movie she has a son with Down's syndrome. In the very end she gives a speech that has stuck with me all my life. It applies to me so much - it's as if it was written for me.
It basically says:
When I was pregnant it was like I was on a train. All my friends were on there with me. We were all going to Italy (Or maybe it was Spain, I forget) All my friends got off in Italy. But when my train stopped, I got off in Holland. At first I cried....It wasn't fair....I made plans for Italy....I was expecting Italy...All my friends were in Italy...I wanted to go to Italy too. ..It's not fair.
But as time went on and my anger faded, I began to look around me. And I started to see that Holland's not so bad. Holland has tulips. And Holland has windmills. And I started to miss Italy less and love Holland more. And now there's no way I would ever trade my Holland for Italy. Not for anything. Ever.
I just thank God every day for my little piece of Holland.
Tammy
I remember sitting on the couch one time, about 9 months prego, watching a movie. A prego lady was asked if she wanted a boy or a girl. She replied with the standard answer of the time - "Doesn't matter as long as it's healthy".
Since I was by myself at that moment, I thought about my answer of always saying "A girl". And I decided that of course I wanted her healthy - but if God himself stood before me right now and said he had 2 souls, A healthy little boy, or a beautiful little girl, but she has some problems - I would take the girl.
So of course, as we all know, I got my girl. To this day I honestly believe that if she was a boy, she'd be perfectly "normal". But after years of thinking about this, I don't believe I caused it. I may be to blame for choosing her, but not for causing her problems. I truly believe that there are all these little souls waiting up there, some are picked randomly, but some are special and are just waiting for just the right Mom to choose them and give them the love they need. They need special mommies and have to wait until their special mommy is hand-picked just for them.
In my case - it's the right choice. No one could ever possibly love her or take better care of her than I do. I can't even imagine if she would have been given to someone else.
I really feel the same for all the other kids on here. They are right now exactly the same way as they were the day God gave them to their mothers. None of the "Blames" had anything to do with it.
Maybe none of you consciously chose your child as I feel I did, But you were all hand chosen just for your precious little soul. No one would take better care of them than you. Not even the Drs, nurses, or any care giver. Can you think of a single person who God could have trusted with your child over you? Does anyone understand them better than you? I'm sure not.
So Mothers, you are to be blamed for only one thing. Being the person that God felt he could trust enough to take care of one of his special little souls he had just waiting to be loved.
There is an old movie out there called "Kids Like These". I still see it showing up on e-bay sometimes on VHS. After having Regina and all her "specialties" (she is also handicapped) this has become my favorite movie. It stars Tyne Daly. In the movie she has a son with Down's syndrome. In the very end she gives a speech that has stuck with me all my life. It applies to me so much - it's as if it was written for me.
It basically says:
When I was pregnant it was like I was on a train. All my friends were on there with me. We were all going to Italy (Or maybe it was Spain, I forget) All my friends got off in Italy. But when my train stopped, I got off in Holland. At first I cried....It wasn't fair....I made plans for Italy....I was expecting Italy...All my friends were in Italy...I wanted to go to Italy too. ..It's not fair.
But as time went on and my anger faded, I began to look around me. And I started to see that Holland's not so bad. Holland has tulips. And Holland has windmills. And I started to miss Italy less and love Holland more. And now there's no way I would ever trade my Holland for Italy. Not for anything. Ever.
I just thank God every day for my little piece of Holland.
Tammy
