How do you all handle eating at someone's home?

[julienc]

I have long had the habit of eating a small snack before going to another place for a meal where I cannot predict the menu. It helps curb a hungry belly where there is often food served that I cannot eat. My friends all know about my "issues" with sugar, but they always seem to forget or grasp my sensitivity. Case in point, we went out a few weeks ago to our neighbor's, and they graciously only put 1/4 cup of sugar in the lasagna rather than the full 1/2 cup the recipe required. Needless to say, it tasted horrible to me, but I tried to eat some of it so I didn't seem rude.

I don't mind that people forget - it is a weird and unusual food thing. And I've always been the gracious guest and tried to get some bites down. But now that I've discovered that I could have HFI and that sugar could be very harmful to me, I feel like I need to draw the line and not "try" to eat anything like this. As well as trying to avoid feeling ill the rest of the night.

How do you all manage? Like I said, these are people who know about my sugar problems but seem to forget or just don't get it. Do you just tell them you can't eat it? Do you remind them again a day or two before going over there for a meal?

When visiting my inlaws I have learned to bring my own bag of groceries, but I can't really do that for a meal with my friends.

[lisa]

I tend to bring Nathan's food with us when we travel. I have had bad luck with people misinterpreting what is OK and not and it is just better to be sure that he is covered. I'm sure everyone remembers the first few trips to the store after diagnosis and how overwhelming they are.

When Nate started at his preschool last year the director was offended when I said I would bring his food rather than have her buy it, so I let her try one week. She quickly learned why it was better for me to take care of it and related how overwhelmed she felt walking down the aisles and reading the ingredients lists. After dealing with the aftermath of the first bad item (he was still in diapers then) they understood the importance of getting it right.

It will become no big deal after a few times. It is definitely awkward at first though.

[colormist]

Fred, either they knew you ate all the peanuts or they thought their house was crazy-infested with mice and had it immediately fumigated. LOL

I've been wondering how to deal with the meal-issue. When I stay at relatives, I've started bringing my own monster-loaf of bread and some oats. Usually they have milk, cheese, or some variety of meats that I can make-do with. My mom always asks me what she should buy when I stay over. I usually request Lays potato chips and french bread. (She was very proud of herself when she found the bread without sugar & fructose in it!)

When I go to dinners, they're usually a potluck variety. I, again, usually bring bread and an non-typical side dish (asparagus casserole, cheese tray, veggie tray). That way I always know there's SOMETHING I can eat. They usually have plain salad, too.

[Tammy]

For Regina, I also always bring something I know she can have. I'll make a potato salad for picnics, or a broccoli casserole. If they are having something on a grill, then I always bring her hotdogs. And before I leave our house, I put a toothpick in both ends of the hotdogs, that way as they lay on the grill, there is no chance of her getting the wrong one, and others won't take hers by mistake either.

I think a lot of it depends on how you treat it yourself. If you always "try a couple of bites" then your friends will think what they are doing is ok. If you tell them that you can't have it, and don't eat it, they'll soon realize that you really can't eat it. And then they will start asking what they can have for you.

I always carry somthing along. Lately it's been Lucks Chicken and Dumplings. It's in a microwave bowl, it's not real disgusting it you end up eating it at room temp, and if you're lucky enough to not have to open it, you just save it for next time.

Weddings, birthday parties, etc are always the hardest for us. Since they are usually catered, there isn't anything there to even grab on the side. We always take something, or stop and get McNuggets from McDonalds to take along. I even take pretzels for her to snack on.

Fred, I don't know how you went that long. I don't think I would have been that nice. Of course I have it a little easier. I'm not asking for myself, I'm looking for something for my little girl. And they look at her, in her wheelchair, and get all embarrassed and "oh I'm sorry" and then - bang - I use the sympathy ploy. hehehe. It works every time. How little they know what a brat she can be!!!!

[millan]

Wow, some of you don't even ask for anything special?!

My friends and relatives all know what I can and can't eat and always serve me something that is without sugars.
If I am invited to someone I don't know very well I always call them up, inform them that I can't eat some things and together we go through what they intend to serve and adjust my meal accordingly. (Prepare the meat without the seasoning, serve without sause, plain rice instead of a potatodish with onions, whatever is neccesary.
I have not yet met someone who thought I was being difficult, but everyone really tries to help.
On the other hand, if they are serving something that is difficult to adjust or if I can tell they don't really know how to help me, I usually offer to bring something myself that I can eat.

Those times I've been to catered affairs I call the caterers to adjust my meal.
If I pay for a meal at a party I should have something I can eat, right?

There have of course been times when I've sat before something totaly unedible (for me).
In those instances, I politely say I can't eat the meal, try to find some bread or anything to snack on and asap find a mcdonalds or somewhere to eat. (I get very cranky when hungry.)

As Tammy wrote, I think much of your responses from your surroundings is your own expectations.
If you try a little bit of whatever is served, you can obviously eat everything...
If you tell people you simply can't eat some things, they can't serve them to you. :-)

[julienc]

Thanks everyone for the responses. And you all are right - no more little bites here and there. Time to draw the line.

I'm headed to a conference this weekend, all meals from the hotel. This will be my first big test.