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Post by rysmom14 on Jun 21, 2018 13:44:37 GMT -5
Hello all!
My son who is 4.5 was going to a daycare 3 days a week. Last summer we had a situation where the teachers gave him a popsicle, and we flipped out and pulled him out of daycare for 3 months. I worked with the daycare about things that needed to be done so that it wouldn't happen again. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. He was given another popsicle. I went nuts and went and got him and now he is pulled out of daycare for good. He will go to preschool in September and I have already been talking with the teachers about what can and can NOT happen.
So I am looking for some answers/ suggestions as to how to make people see the importance of not giving them anything. I was very specific that he was only to eat food from his lunch box and nothing else, but since they were all on the playground and they brought popsicles outside and all the kids ran and got them, that's how he was given one. I know for a fact that if they had a child with a peanut allergy they would make sure 100% that they would not given them anything unsafe.
We have been with this daycare since they were 3 months old, and they were very concerned when he was hospitalized, so they know what can happen, but it seems like there just isn't enough care about it day to day.
So I see the problems starting and he hasn't even started preschool yet. what kinds of things do you do to make sure that the teachers and care givers are doing to right thing and what are some suggestions for things that I can do. We have already decided to get him a medical bracelet.
(the last time this happened at daycare, they had signs up everywhere about him, they only fed him food that I sent and there was only 1 person in charge of feeding hi. they also had him sit on the end of the lunch table and next to his sister so that there would be less chance of another child "sharing")
I guess I am just at a loss how people can be so carless. Ok i'm rambling. Thanks for your ideas  |
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Post by jenn123 on Jun 21, 2018 16:16:30 GMT -5
I have provided everyone that takes Care of my daughter with an information print out on the disease, a letter from genetics and signs of hypoglycemia. I make sure all the print outs say, could result in death. I have had good luck with people being careful. I guess make them sign a form that they have read it and make them read while you are standing there ? Not for any legal purposes, just so that they are forced to read it. I am fortunate that i have not had to be too obnoxious to be heard for most people in her life now that we have diagnosis. Prior to diagnosis, is another story. I also give a snack bag of carton milk, smarties and potato chips for emergencies.
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rachael
Junior Member
Mom of a 3-year-old who was diagnosed via genetic testing at 18 months
Posts: 85 
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Post by rachael on Jun 21, 2018 22:52:02 GMT -5
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Post by rysmom14 on Jun 22, 2018 9:24:29 GMT -5
Thanks Jenn and Rachael!
The daycare has a letter from genetics and I feel like I have gone over things with them a million times. we also had a pin and a bright yellow shirt that said "don't feed me I have allergies" the pin was always on his lunch box at the end of the day and not on his shirt.
Rachael, that's the odd thing, he knows about not having sugar. and his sister knows too. we talk about it all the time and he does like your son and will make play food and tell us he made us that what ever food has no sugar. so when he ate the popsicle, we talked about it on the way home and he kept saying he didn't know why he ate it, and that the teachers gave to him so he thought it was fine. we also give him "popsicles" at home, but they are popsicle molds with just water in them. so maybe in an effort to include him in things, we are confusing him?
I know the women who we put in charge of all his food was absolutely sick over it and felt 100% responsible. and while she was in charge of giving him his food, the other care takers that were out on the playground should have known too, and I know they know. their only response was that things were so hectic and all the kids were grabbing and they just didn't think about it. I just don't think that is an excuse, and especially since it is the same exact situation last summer. then to owner made a bunch of "suggestions' that if this was in place then it would have been helpful. Like if there were ice popsicles in the freezer, or if he had an ID bracelet, or they turned it around and said that he shouldn't have taken it, or that his sister should have stopped them. its so frustrating.
the popsicle was brought in from a student for her birthday. to me the fist thing that happens is no outside food. I know its not fun, but it does seem that class rooms are going more towards that anyways because of all the other food restrictions. and if I were the teacher, I would have written on the popsicle boxes with a giant sharpie "NO RYAN" I do this at home when I buy meat. when I package it in smaller portions I write " no Ryan" or "Ryan" on everything with no label, so I know what im doing.
I almost feel like they are just not capable to have someone that isn't like everone else. They do a wonderful job with my girls, but they don't need that extra level of thinking before they feed them. and aside from the feeding, they did a great job with Ryan.
I am thinking that for preschool in a couple months, I will try the printouts and schedule a conference to go over things with them so they completely understand, and see about looking into a ID bracelet that would be harder to take off. I am hoping that maybe a school setting/ rather than a daycare will have higher ability to deal with special circumstances.
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Post by jenn123 on Jun 22, 2018 23:32:03 GMT -5
i am sorry this is happening. You certainly have made them aware. So frustrating. Preschool does have more structure so hopefully that will help. Our school does not allow parents or teachers to give treats for any occasion other than official class parties for holidays. I love that. If you have options to find a school that has that type of policy, it may be easier. If not, give the teacher a back up bag for when parents show up with treats.
We have a medical bracelet from Med Alert. It is the basic silver one and I can barely take it off.
Good luck. 🍀
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Post by antonia on Jun 27, 2018 13:43:22 GMT -5
I happen to be a proponent of keeping safe treats (like your ice popsicles) at hand where ever my daughter goes when at all possible. Would the school make some space in their freezer for some of his treats? That way if he knows that they’re there he might ask for them when treats are given out to the other children.
This happened to my daughter, multiple times, when she was in preschool too. She was in a private, very structured, combined preschool/elementary school where the preschoolers were treated very much like the rest of the elementary kids, and still she was offered unsafe food after extensive meetings with their staff. Never at lunch time but usually at special events where she was in contact with staff that weren’t aware of her dietary needs. But once she was even offered birthday cake by her own teacher who was easily flustered and kind of flaky. So my daughter, at age 4, was able to remind her she couldn’t eat it. Of coarse the teacher didn’t admit this to me, Palmera told me about it later. Had she not known she had her own treats there she might have sat there and tried to eat that cake because she didn’t want to be left out.
I’ve chosen to homeschool now, this sort of thing being one of the reasons. But I’ve always thought it was worse for us because we don’t have a diagnosis. It’s really sad to see this happening with diagnosed kids. Certainly this wouldn’t happen to a child with allergies or even diabetes I’m guessing. Maybe if you filled out a 504 form this would help because then there is some legal responsibility on the part of the school.
Right now the best I can do for my child is to set her up to be a proponent for herself. We talk to her about what to do when she’s offered food or drink by other people, and how sick she was before she was on the correct diet. I can see this being tough for kids that are diagnosed at a very young age because they probably don’t have memory of how sick the wrong foods made them. But maybe if he knows he has a comparable treat he can ask for he will do it. I know my daughter hates with a passion to feel left out or different from other kids in any way. Fitting in has always been important to her, even at a young toddler age. This more than anything is what’s going to cause her to cheat. Access to safe-for-her treats really helps no matter the social situation.
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Post by hfimomof3 on Jun 28, 2018 16:06:43 GMT -5
Daycares vary in how good they are at this, and in my opinion your success at fixing the problem will depend on the director of the program. You need the daycare to have policies and procedures that avoid having staff be placed in positions that compromise your child's safety, and you need the director to be willing to enforce those policies and procedures. For example, a policy that might have avoided this would be if the director decided no outside food for birthdays. Many daycares and schools in my area have switched to allowing children to bring in fancy pencils or something similar to hand around to their friends instead of popsicles or cupcakes. I think this is a good policy because it avoids putting staff in the position of having to handle 15 overexcited kids and keep the food-restricted kids safe at the same time. It is a policy that is realistic about what reasonably competent staff can handle when dealing with a large group of small children, and it places the priority appropriately on safety. But if the director were to create such a policy and then didn't enforce it, then the policy is useless to your child as well as giving you a false sense of security.
The specific policies or procedures you might suggest will vary according to your child's situation and to the capabilities of the daycare. For example, it might be ok to have popsicles handed out at daycare occasionally as long as you are given advance notice so that you can alert your child, or bring in a safe popsicle, or attend the popsicle party to supervise, or keep your child home that day, or some other solution that works for you. But if the daycare can't handle saying no to parents bringing in spontaneous popsicles, and also can't keep track of whether your child is given an unsafe popsicle or not, then how are you supposed to work with that as a parent?
In the case you describe, what makes me most uncomfortable is that your child was blamed for accepting the food. That suggests an unwillingness on their part to take responsibility for his safety or else a failure to understand the developmental abilities of 4 to 5 year olds.
This particular daycare sounds like it didn't work out for your child, but another daycare might be fine. I assume you are going to discuss your child's needs with the director in advance so that will give you an opportunity to make a judgement call on whether it will be a good fit for your child.
In one of my kids' preschools, there were repeated issues with allergic children being exposed to food to which they were allergic. (I had a kid with an allergy but he was used to only eating food from home, so it wasn't a problem for him). When the parents addressed these incidents with the director to find solutions, her responses were always along the lines of "oh, well, I'll just tell the staff to pay more attention." It was frustrating for the parents, especially considering there were easy policy changes the director could have made to avoid these problems. Eventually that director left and a new one came in. The new director made the obvious policy changes and also came up with an elegant solution to the problem of kids bringing in random allergenic birthday treats. After that there were no more problems with kids being exposed to allergic foods (at least for the 6 months my kid was there once the new director started).
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