What other people say.

[jen]

I haven't been here in a while so I started reading again.
I'm at this point in my life that I don't really care what other people think anymore.
Yes I'm the only one who drinks milk in restaurants, if available, at work and at family and friends. Yes I always order the same dish on the menu because I know that is safe.
Everybody got used to it and nobody minds. They get something else for my birthday instead of a birthday cake (being from The Netherlands they once gave me pickled herring)
If I come over for diner they ask me what I can and cannot have. And sometimes I dont want them to do something special for me as long as I can bring my own food. And that is all possible.
Ofcourse there are still people who don't want to understand. I stop explaining it to them and I don't care what they think.
I guess it helps that I have worked in health care most of my adult life.
HFI is part of my life but it doesn't control me anymore. I'm in control and I control how I deal with it in my daily life.

[fred]

Do I ever agree with this statement. jen, Amen!

[colormist]

Perfect Jen! If you don't mind, I'd love to quote you on my HFI blog: fructose-free.tumblr.com/

[jen]

Yes absolutely. I read your column. Love it. It's like reading about myself. Especially the milk story.

[jen]

Sorry: Blog :-)

[colormist]

"Column" makes me sound so much more professional!

I made some style, formatting changes to your quote. Hopefully that's okay. It's very inspirational, what you said, and I hope others can find a bit of solace in it as well.

[ukbill]

Jen,

I 100% agree.

We are not victims of this condition unless we allow it to make us so.

I get so angry when parents are wringing their hands and saying oh my poor baby having this terrible condition type things..

Yes I suppose its a natural reaction to think like that but it could be far far worse.. Diabetic for example having to inject every day!

We can eat as much as we like of the foods we enjoy, our diet is only as restricted by as much as our imagination extends. There are few meals that cannot be made HFI safe given a little lateral thinking.

We eat freshly cooked food which is far healthier than rubbish bought from supermarkets and shops as "ready meals" which seem to be the staple of so many households these days.

Yes I agree social eating is hard particularly when visiting friends.

You can always ask if you can bring something you can eat to the meal (and everyone else can eat too) as a "contribution"

Or go round the day before and drop in a dish you have prepared for them to re-heat. (fish pie , stew, pasta etc) so no one else knows.

I am happy being HFI I find the diet is both healthy and easy to live with.

New research and medical science is now showing that we have far lower chance of heart problems, high blood pressure, cancer, diabetes and chronic obesity, on the HFI diet, than people who eat "normally" what ever that means.

So enjoy life Yell something rude when you get frustrated by peoples attitude and above all else SMILE

Keep smiling Jen

[charlie]

Hi Jen,
I read your post and like the others totally agree with your sentiments, it is a great step forward when people come to that point. However I have to take umbrage with Bill - again.

Parents of a sick child, well also anyone suffering really, go through a myriad of emotions when all this starts. Parents especially though have a young child that at this stage is really sick, and no one usually knows why. Thanks to mediums like this now they hopefully get some answers much quicker but otherwise they have probably been, like myself, through years of tests, maybes etc. Then eventually someone, either they or someone else comes across HFI and they are presented with this bizarre list of foods their child cannot have. All sugars, all fruits, all vegetables. That is a major part of their childs diet. And unfortunately most dietitians and doctors have a list they can give them but no first hand experience of doing the diet. So you naturally go through shock as a parent. On the one hand you have an answer but as a result of that food after food is eliminated from their diet. It is extremely daunting and parents must go through that process to move on to start using it, it is all part of the process of learning your child has a medical condition. And meanwhile you have to get over the stigma of not allowing your child sweets, puddings, denying them their five a day, thanks to the modern diet. And if you are doing the diet well your child thrives so people coming in later don't see what you had to get through to get there and will raise their eyebrows.

Yes, it is none of their business what you feed your child, and you have to have incredible will power to get through that and also keep your child on the incredibly restricted diet while all around them can just help themselves to whatever they want. But slowly and surely you learn how to cope with the diet, how to add safe varieties and realise there is alot they can have: and hopefully your child learns that they feel better on it and you come out of the mist into the bright sunlight that Jen has reached and everyone else on the "experienced" list on this board. But don't get angry with the parents or sufferers along the way, they need to go through the process first and it is our place to guide them through that rather than tell them they are being silly or they will feel afraid to voice their feelings and that is one thing this board has helped me tremendously with. A parent in a support group I have started going to for kids with learning problems said "You can make a comment about something your child struggles with anywhere else and people treat it with scorn - in this room everyone nods agreement as they have experienced exactly the same." That is what we need to do.

[flanagan]

I went through 33 years of life without knowing about HFI and just thinking I was particularly awesome.